i think

when you choose to give your heart to someone, to be an important part of someone’s life, there are unwritten rules that automatically guide the relationship.
they’re not stated, but implicitly demonstrated. suddenly, you have additional rights and obligations that were otherwise not present.

then you realize that opposed to the other obligations that you have, you actually enjoy and look forward to fulfilling these obligations. on the other hand, you begin to question the rights that you earned. what are its limitations? up to what extent can you exercise them? are your rights mutually agreed upon? can these rights be claimed anytime you want to?

when your partner chooses to love you and commit himself to you, do you automatically earn the right to be one of his utmost–if not the utmost–priorities?
do you deserve to get jealous of other people?
do you have the right to become visible to the other significant people in his life? and let them know that you, too, are now as equally important to him as they are?

when he decides to give his heart to you, can you ask him if you can have it whole and open and unscathed?
can you ask him to get rid of the ghosts of his past so you can peacefully live the present with him? is it your right to do this? as it is your obligation to take care of his heart, do you also have the right to have your heart taken care of by him?

when he says i love you, do you automatically earn the right to feel special? and expect him to make you feel special as you do him? do you get to still be loved by him in all your morning or weepy splendor, or when the everybody else just wants to push you off the cliff?

what are your rights? do you even know what they are? do they even exist? or are they just a fragment of your imagination? or of your idealism?

media has created in our minds an image of the perfect guy. someone who would know what we want even before we open our mouth. someone who opens the doors for us and displays every single act of chivalry, with or without people looking. a guy who would bring us flowers in every possible occasion and would remember every single thing we say, no matter how irrelevant. he remembers every important date, even the day he met his girl. he will never make his girl cry and would go miles just to please her. he’s the king of romance, and will surprise her with the sweetest things when she least expects it.
he won’t do anything wrong, his eyes are only for her. he’s flawless.

such image has created in women expectations that are sometimes too far-fetched, and very high expectations lead to utter disappointments. we look for these characteristics in our partners that we end up frustrated.

but what i’ve learned in the past days is that just because the person doesn’t love me the way i want him to doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me the way he knows how to.

so what if my man is not perfect?

who else would bear with my mood swings and tolerate my fight modes?
he’s not dr. phil but he sure is always ready to listen to my stories, no matter how trivial they seem.
he would readily give me a hug every single time i need or want one.
i don’t care about the mess he makes, especially if the mess is caused by his cooking–for me.
who else would think that burping is cute? or that my incessant ouching and comments in wrestling is adorable (on this note, who would have thought i would like wrestling?)??
breakfast would wait for a couple of hours or so just because he prefers to have it with me.
he laughs out loud, talks nonstop, sings sexy, and dances playfully.
he says sorry without qualifications nor explanations.
he does favors i ask him to do.
he tries not to show me how pissed off he is with me already.
he ’s not religious but he always talks to God.
he’s got a lot of dreams for himself, but more so for the people he loves.
he’s a happy person, despite and in spite of.

this and more. i know that in the days to come, there will be an awful lot more things i would love and hate and appreciate about him.

i could just sit with him all day and not talk and feel like it’s one day well spent and worth repeating. this is how he makes me feel.

so who cares about the perfect guy? he doesn’t exist. but my man does, not perfect, but real. and his love for me? it’s even more real.