i think

i feel so bad

worried

scared

pissed off

annoyed

jealous

defeated

not okay

oh God, help me please!!!! i can’t take everything all at once and all by myself

Sana mapatawad ako ng Diyos. At sana pagdating sa dulo, andun Siya na naghihintay sa’kin, handang yakapin ang makulit na ako. Handang punasan ang mga luha kong ako rin ang may kagagawan. Handang bigyan ng ika-isanlibong pagkakataon ang pasaway na ako na magsimulang muli. Na ayusin ang buhay. Kasi ngayon, sa totoo lang, ramdam na ramdam ko kung paano mabuhay ng matigas ang ulo. Nararanasan ko ngayon ang hindi mapanatag dahil nawala na sa unahan ng listahan ko ang Diyos.

Sana hindi pa mahuli ang lahat. Sana magising na ko bago pa mahuli ang lahat.

There is one thing I realized in the past days. I may rant and rant about how my friends irritate me, how I hate them, how their pesky characteristics piss me off, how they sometimes get into my nerves. But they’re first and foremost my friends, and I love them—peskiness, quirks and all.

Now I will tell you what I’ve done for you -
50 thousand tears I’ve cried.
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -
And you still won’t hear me.

(going under)
Don’t want your hand this time - I’ll save myself.
Maybe I’ll wake up for once (wake up for once)
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I’d reached the bottom

I’m dying again

I’m going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I’m falling forever (falling forever)
I’ve got to break through
I’m going under

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.
(So I don’t know what’s real) So I don’t know what’s real and what’s not (and what’s not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can’t trust myself anymore

I’m dying again

I’m going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I’m falling forever (falling forever)
I’ve got to break through

So go on and scream
Scream at me I’m so far away (so far away)
I won’t be broken again (again)
I’ve got to breathe - I can’t keep going under

I’m dying again

I’m going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I’m falling forever (falling forever)
I’ve got to break through

I’m going under (going under)
I’m going under (drowning in you)
I’m going under

I went to your house Walked up the stairs I opened your door without ringing the bell  I walked down the hall Into your room Where I could smell you  And I shouldn’t be here, without permission I shouldn’t be here  Would you forgive me love If I danced in your shower  Would you forgive me love If I laid in your bed  Would you forgive me love If I stay all afternoon  I took off my clothes Put on your robe I went through your drawers And found your cologne  Went down to the den Found your CD’s
And I played your Joni  And I shouldn’t stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn’t stay long  Would you forgive me love If I danced in your shower  Would you forgive me love If I laid in your bed  Would you forgive me love If I stay all afternoon  I burned your incense I ran a bath I noticed a letter that sat on your desk  It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"  And no, it wasn’t my writing I’d better go soon  It wasn’t my writing  So forgive me love If I cry in your shower  So forgive me love For the salt in your bed  So forgive me love If I cry all afternoon

There’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s nice to be free. I can stay out late every night, I can wear whatever I want, I can just be my plain old self.

The world sees that I can take care of myself.

So please stop buggin’ me why I am still single!! You’re pissin’ me off!

Unless you want me to start asking you why you’re still in that pathetic relationship that just drains you of all your energy.

On another note, I wouldn’t mind having someone walk me home. I wouldn’t mind wanting to look good or trying to be better for someone. I wouldn’t mind letting someone hold me when I’m just too weak to go on.

It’s nice to be free, but I wouldn’t mind being bound to someone who loves me.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry
Hey, baby my nose is getting big
I noticed it be growing when I been telling them fibs
Now you say your trust’s getting weaker
Probably coz my lies just started getting deeper
And the reason for my confession is that I learn my lesson
And I really think you ought to know the truth
Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more
But after I did it I don’t know what I did it for
I admit that I have been a little immature
Fucking with your heart like I was the predator
In my book of lies I was the editor
And the author
I forged my signature
And now I apologise for what I did to you
Cos what you did to me I did to you

No,no, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don’t lie
No, no, no, no, yeah, you know, know, know, know, you gotta try
What you gonna do when it all comes out
When I really see you & what you’re all about

No, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don’t lie
Yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you gotta try

She said I’m leaving
Cos she can’t take the pain
It’s hard to continue this love it ain’t the same
Can’t forget the things that I’ve done inside her brain
Too many lies committed too many games
She feeling like a fool getting on the last train
Trying to maintain but the feeling won’t change
I’m sorry for the things that I’ve done and what I became
Caught up in living my life in the fast lane
Blinded by lights, cameras, you know the fame
I don’t know the reason why I did these things

And I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie
And now our emotions are drained
Cos I lie and I lie and a little lie lie
And now your emotions are drained

Yo, I’m lying to my girl
Even though I love her
And she all in my world
I give her all my attention and diamonds & pearls
She’s the one who makes me feel on top of the world
Still I lie to my girl, I do it

And I lie and I lie and I lie till there’s no turning back
I don’t know why, (and I lie and I lie till I don’t know who I am)

have you ever experienced feeling nothing but hatred towads someone? especially if that someone happens to be your friend whom you trust so much and share some really good times with.

friend! my ass! right now, i don’t even wanna see his face. he’s such a jerk who doesn’t deserve my friendship.

JERK! JERK! JERK!

he’s not what i thought he is. he’s a fucking liar!
i hate myself for stupidly believing his lies.

i wish i could hit him REAL HARD on the face to let him feel all the anger i have for him and for myself.
i wish guys like him would just rot in hell!
i wish girls would stop falling for jerks like him and love them in all their jerky splendor!

and you know what the hell is worse than this pure hatred that i feel?

it’s knowing that he has practically no idea how big of a jerk he is and how much i’m hurting because of him. ’cause letting him know is the mother all of pathetics!